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 | wishing and hoping |
“Mama,” said my almost-three-year-old at bedtime, “Every day I wake up, and you’re still bigger than me.”
Her tone of voice suggested she hoped for a different outcome.
Child, I wanted to say, I know how you feel.
There are plenty of things about which I wake up and think, this? Again? I have to get out of bed, already? I have to make breakfast today, again? I will get out of bed, and once again there will be no chocolate cake to greet me in the kitchen? Really? That’s the deal? Every day?
And it’s kind of silly, right, because every day the answer is the same: No, I can’t stay in bed until I’m rested. Yes, I have to prepare food right away. No, it won’t be pastry, not even just for me. (Usually.)
Why bother with the dashed optimism, over and over, predictably, every day? Why not accept the mundane and move on?
Well. The thing is. The thing is. One day, Sadie—the three-year-old in question—will wake up, and she will be bigger than I am. She will be taller. She will be grown.
It might not be reasonable to pine over every day in the short run, but long-term, she’s almost guaranteed to get what she’s wishing for. (Her dad is a foot taller than I am, after all.)
Reality is right now, reality is today—but today is not forever. Today is a season. Seasons change.
And in the meantime, there are plenty of good things about today.
I am bigger, I told her, so that I can take care of you. Every day.
Even if I don’t start the day with frosting and cake.
That’s very cute that she says that to you. You’re right–they grow fast. Miss D.’s in third grade and she’s five feet tall already. Yikes!
FIVE FEET TALL! Omigosh, my kids will one day be five feet tall. And then taller. And what if they wear heels?! (You see I’m not quite as sanguine about the whole growing-up thing as I like to imagine I am…)
Gorgeous. A wise mama are you.
(Yes, I know it’s not Friday.
But sometimes six words are enough.)
Sometimes six is all I have.
“Reality is right now, reality is today—but today is not forever.” So true regardless of whether or not we like a lot or very little about today. Sooner or later, reality will change and hopefully, we learn to come to grips with the impermanence of today.
I do better with the concept of impermanence in theory than in reality. In reality I’m thinking, really? my babies are growing this fast, things will change, really?
And while I want some things to change (cake for breakfast!), so many others I don’t…
I loved this Melissa.
Thank you.
A quick side not, at first I thought she was referring to your pregnant state until I read the next part. After recognizing my error, I started crying. (Good tears.) A beautiful reminder that we are all growing and facing realities that we don’t necessarily want. Yes, one day she will surpass you and be a wonderful young woman. A woman that her Momma will be (is already) proud of.
I’m definitely still enormously pregnant every morning too. But this time she meant something else.
It’s both really hard and far too easy to imagine the little ones all grown up into young adults, don’t you think?
I should print this and post it beside my bed. Because I’m sitting here thinking about how I will be thinking all of this in a few short hours. Time for bed!
Someday: cake for breakfast. Someday.
Hope you get some rest in the meantime!
Love this! Although nurturing little people is the most stretching and challenging job ever, it goes by way too fast. My “baby” is going into fourth grade and my “little girl” starts middle school on the 7th!! They were living in my sling just yesterday! This was a great reminder to enjoy each moment. Thanks Melissa.
So fast. One day they’re in the sling, the next they’re giants in MIDDLE SCHOOL. Middle school! How can that be?
Oh, lovely! As I was just sitting here thinking, where is the time going? Can’t I just soak in this moment with them forever? I want them to grow, and yet it hurts just a little when they want to flap those wings and fly out into the world.
However — I think cake for breakfast now and then could be quite delightful and a memory in itself!! Hugs!