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 | the first decade |
So here’s a crazy fact: my oldest will turn ten this week. (She’s not keen on the idea of sharing a birthday, so: new baby, please choose a day other than Sunday. How about today? Today’s nice…)
I am trying very hard not to be freaked out by this whole double-digits-birthday thing. I remember feeling the same way when she turned five, and seven, and, well, pretty much every age, but still. Ten is a big deal.
It’s not that I want her to stay small forever—I don’t. I love baby stages, but I think my kids get to be more fun and interesting and delightful every day. I wouldn’t want to turn that clock back for anything. But the years slip past so quickly, and there are so many things that I don’t want to leave undone.
Every birthday reminds me to pay attention, to be conscious, to spend our time wisely because it’s not nearly as infinite in supply as I think it is. But the daily-ness of life sets back in, and bit by bit I let the urgent overtake the important.
And then the next birthday arrives and I realize, with no small amount of guilt, that I need to reset my priorities yet again, that I need to restructure our days so that they accomplish what I intend, so that the way we live our lives and the words we exchange and the time we spend—so that all of those things together communicate love and hope and truth.
It’s not as easy as it sounds.
Plus we’re about to enter the vortex of newborn parenting wherein the appropriate priorities really do involve tending to urgent needs at the expense of everything else. But that will end, as such things always do, and we will pay attention again to how we spend our time. Because oh my goodness, it goes so fast. So very fast.
“But the daily-ness of life sets back in, and bit by bit I let the urgent overtake the important.” Oh my goodnes, yes! And I only wish I knew how to change that. Struggling here, life is too busy.
Happy birthday to you daughter!! I think 10 will bring so many new surprises, I hope most are fun!
Life is much too busy. Fun, too, and full, surprising, wonderful… but the busy-ness overtakes so much! Sigh.
My two girls have birthdays that are four days apart. They actually were due on the same date. I hope that your new baby abides his/her older sister’s wishes and comes on his/her own day. And, 10? Amazing. Wonderful. A reason to celebrate. And? Aren’t there so many things that make us pause and take stock and re-evaluate? I feel like I am ALWAYS doing so. Good luck to you during the next days, which I suspect will be very full of celebrations!
Thank you!
I tend to go far too long between re-evaluations, so that we’re all the way entrenched in our busy ways again before I even realize we’ve wandered off the path! But maybe that means I need to mark the path more clearly? That’s a thought…
I know that 10th birthday anxiety. Mine turns 10 in a few months and I’m already obsessed with it. The realigning of priorities and remembering what’s important is exactly what I needed to hear right now.
TEN! It’s huge.
Maybe being reminded of that ten-ness all year will help me remember to keep focusing on the important? I am hoping so…
This is exactly how I feel. Thrilled to watch my kids grow up but worried that I’m not doing enough to help them mature healthily. A constant battle.
Dear Melissa’s baby,
Please come immediately. We would all like to meet you!
Sincerely,
Amber, a big fan
See, this is why we should consider naming the baby Amber.
Oh, how I hear you–this week especially. There is never time enough, but maybe that’s the point.
Yes! Never enough time, so I want to be intentional in how I use the time I’ve got… and I hardly ever manage that, it seems. Working on it, though. Always working on it.