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 | worrying it out |
Do you ever spend the whole day worrying about something, maybe freaking out a little bit, and then it turns out there was nothing to worry about? I do this a lot when I’m pregnant. Like: When was the last time the baby moved? I don’t think the baby’s moved in a while. I can’t remember the last time there was movement. Oh no. What if Something is Wrong? Oh no. Oh wait, was that a kick? Okay, that was a kick. Nevermind.
Monday I did the same thing, worrying over the toddler. She’s fine, she was fine, she will continue to be fine. This did not stop me from spending half the afternoon fretting. (She complained—quite forcefully—of a tummyache. And I think she really had one. But it got better without any real intervention, as such things usually do.) I think I spent three hours’ worth of mental energy needlessly wondering whether there was something I should do to help her.
Is it just part of the job, this worrying that usually turns out to be for naught? I think it is, at least for me. That’s the way I’m wired, for one thing. I am a champion worrier. But there’s also the fact that a lot of the time, it’s just me making the calls on what’s fine and what’s A Problem, and a number of small people are relying on me to get it right. I have to know when to call in backup or break out the medicine chest. (Um. We don’t have a real medicine chest, I just like the visual.)
And maybe worry is the wrong word. Maybe it’s more like watchfulness. Increased awareness. Making sure everything works itself out-ness.
So I watch, and I wait, and I figure that most of the time everything will be just fine, because most of the time it is. But that doesn’t stop me from worrying the next time.
Not to worry you but Audrey is still thoroughly three here
Yeesh. After I said I was going to update it and everything! Luckily she’s not yet 4 1/2.
I’m a major worrier, too. The one time my daughter was sick and I said — to other people, unfortunately — “I refuse to worry this time! She’s fine! She’s always fine!”, it turned out she had a raging ear infection.
I think worrying is part of the job.
Of course THAT was the time she picked to not be fine.
(Okay, probably she didn’t pick, and wouldn’t pick an ear infection even if she could. But still.)
I’m really with you. But lately, I notice myself trying to convince myself that the O Family’s infamous micro biting mite saga is a “worry that turns out to be for naught kinda thing”. When, really, it’s not and all the hours I spend with search engines, phone calls and even doctor’s offices really do need to happen to work this out.
Maybe, then, the worry for naught is the best kind?
This is an interesting point. I definitely prefer “worry for naught” over “it turned out to be a broken arm” or “she had a double ear infection.” Just to pick two things entirely at random.
When “it’s just me making the calls on what’s fine and what’s A Problem, and a number of small people are relying on me to get it right,” I think worry/watchfulness is inevitable. You’ve been entrusted with a huge responsibility, and taking it seriously is a sign of respect for your children. See, I just turned it into something fantastic! But that doesn’t make it feel any less wasteful when you spend all that energy fretting over what usually turns out to be nothing. Of course, you know NOW that it was nothing. If you hadn’t fretted, and then it turned out to be something, you’d be sorry. In my book, I’d rather spend the energy and find it wasted than not spend it and end up feeling guilty.
So it’s really a guilt-avoidance technique! I like this line of reasoning. Excellent spin, D.