Dear nasty-looking spider that just crawled through my kitchen window and into my sink:

I don’t know how you squeezed your big old spider body through the window screen, but I see that you did. Was my shiny white kitchen sink so enticing that you had to abandon your shadowy web in the crevice of the eaves outside? Does this look like the obvious place to set up shop and rake in the bugs? Are you just really into fruit flies? (And if so, are you on a low-cal spider diet? Because we won’t really have a problem with fruit flies until we have summer fruit.)

Methinks it matters not, because I just rinsed you down the drain. Yes, yes, I maybe could have caught you and relocated you, but you kept darting away from me, and really, if you come into my house with weird poisonous-looking markings and stripey legs, you should either cooperate with me or expect a quick demise.

Remember that next time. (Oh wait, you can’t.) Well, tell your friends. (Hmm, nope.) Let this be a lesson… okay, there may be no take-away here. Spiders of the world, take note. And stay out of my sink.

Love,
Me