DANE, to me: Wow, honey! You dance better than a muppet.

[Feel free to imagine the crazy dance moves that inspired such a comment. Your imagination can’t be any worse than my actual dancing.]

ME: Um… thanks. I think that might be the only comparison you could make where I’m the better dancer.

DANE: Hmm. I bet you dance better than sock puppets.

—-

Notice how he said “I bet”—he can’t actually be sure without a side-by-side comparison, but PROBABLY I dance better than a SOCK WITH BUTTONS SEWED ON THE END.

Not a sock MONKEY, mind you, which would have stuffed limbs and a tail—no way I could outdance something with a tail.

So if you’re wondering what we’re doing this weekend: we’re most assuredly not going out dancing. Just for the record.

Also for the record, these are the specific muppets whose dancing skills I put to shame (starting around 1:45):

That is all.