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 | anatomy of the day |
8:00AM
Says the me: How’s the arm?
Says the Owen: Fine! Good! It hurts.
12:30PM
Dane & Owen leave for orthopedist.
2:32PM
Triumphant return with arm in neon orange cast! Excitement and exclaiming ensue.
2:33PM
Much chanting of mantra: “I’m the first one in our WHOLE FAMILY to ever have a cast!”
4:17PM
First itch occurs inside cast.
4:18PM
Commence approved itch-removal methods. (Scratch other arm in same place. Tap cast with spoon. Apply vibrating device to cast.) Realize the only vibrating device around is the cell phone, and only when set to vibrate instead of ring. Decide this may be a ridiculous means of scratching arm. Borrow back-massager thing from my parents, who apparently own one of everything ever invented.
5:24PM
New mantra: “I feel tired of the cast.”
5:32PM
My mother stops by to admire cast WITH GREAT ENTHUSIASM.
6:03PM
My stepfather stops by to admire cast ALSO WITH GREAT ENTHUSIASM and to take pictures for posterity.
6:14PM
Boy is excited about cast again.
8:02PM
Boy and his cast have gone to bed.
8:32PM
Parents assume boy is asleep.
8:35PM
Boy and his cast are not asleep.
8:49PM
Boy and his cast need drink of water.
9:18PM
Boy and his cast need pillows rearranged.
9:46PM
Boy and his cast need blankets rearranged. Parents refrain from yelling: IT’S BEEN A LONG DAY AND WE SWEAR YOU’D FEEL BETTER IF YOU’D JUST FALL ASLEEP ALREADY.
10:06PM
Boy asleep. Parents discuss feasibility of renovating house to cover walls and floors with pillows to avoid future injuries. Then parents remember bill from orthopedist. Parents decide against renovating in the near future. Also against shoe shopping in the near future. Also against grocery shopping in the near future.
10:07PM
Parents really ought to go to bed rather than continue this line of thought.
10:09PM
Parents distracted by chocolate. Ah. Much better. Parents recall earlier advice regarding YOU’D FEEL BETTER IF SLEEP BLAH BLAH. Will parents take own advice? Seems unlikely…
I’m so sorry…
It’s okay. It’s just a fracture. The cast comes off in three weeks.
It’s only a matter of time before there is a cast under this roof. I am so sorry!
With all the crazy stuff the kids do, you’d think he’d have broken it in some more interesting way than “running through living room.”
He’s stoked about the cast again this morning. We’ll see how long that lasts…
I like your ability to put “It’s just…” and “three weeks” so close together.
FYI: If he gets bored with the orange, you can cover it with duct tape. (Well, I’m not sure if that messes up the Dr.’s saw when he takes it off, but it’s something my husband did, anyway.)
Or, get a Sharpie and mark off a “drum set” for the other kids. Then they’ll do the spoon thing for him? Maybe?
A cast! How exciting! Just what you need–a whole new challenge to work around. Because four kids is not enough. See what a super mom we think you are?
want to laugh because this is so well written and funny, but damn, not much of the day sounds funny. The chocolate part is the only part that sounds good. But pretty darned good, as in “boy you sure found a silver lining to that one” good.
Laughter is always encouraged. With me, at me, whatever.