Do you ever find yourself staring into your closet at one unpaired shoe, thinking, I remember that SOMETHING happened to that shoe’s match, so I threw it away. But what was it that happened? Did it get peed in? Thrown up on? I’m sure it will come to me, if I just think long enough…

And then you realize, hello, you actually do not want to remember. There’s probably a reason you blocked that memory in the first place.

Or how about this: Do you ever find yourself, garden hose in hand, staring at a splattering of little kid throw-up (I swear, I thought we were done with that!) in the backyard, hesitating because you know better than to wash down concrete in the middle of a draught? Except—does that rule even apply to washing away vomit?

And then you wash the concrete anyway, but feel really guilty about using the water.

Anyone? Because those were the highlights of my day. Or maybe not “highlights” so much as “parts I haven’t yet managed to forget.” Sigh.