Because some of you may be squeamish, I won’t tell you what I found under the couch cushions.* But let me just say:

1.    The smell—there are no words. I have never—never has there been—I hope you never—never smell—it’s just—OH MY FREAKING GOODNESS THE SMELL.

2.    Not only do I now need to wash every couch cushion cover, not only do I need to shower and change my clothes just from having been in the same room with that nastiness, not only that, but now I want to deep clean every room in my house to make sure there’s nothing else lurking, waiting to be found.

I mean, I’m glad that my kids are somewhat self-sufficient. I love that they know how to choose healthful snacks for themselves. I just wonder how they happened to leave said snack under the couch cushion and forget about it entirely.






* Seriously, you’re not squeamish? You’re sure? Okay then. It was an open Ziploc baggie, filled with moldy garbanzo beans. And how did I find it, you may ask? Oh, I didn’t! That would have been Sadie. Sadie found it and squashed those beans between her fingers and into the couch cushion and earned herself one VERY SOAPY BATH. The end.