I would just like to point out that we have never, not once since becoming parents, never, mixed dirty laundry in with the clean stuff.

How would such a thing even happen, you ask? Well, say a baby spits up on you. Or maybe pees out the side of their diaper all over your shirt, somehow. Say you peel off the offending item and drop it on the floor, where it accidentally gets kicked under the couch and forgotten until a week later, when one of the kids finds it and you assume it just fell out of the basket of clean laundry you should have folded hours ago you’re folding now. Maybe you even put it away and then try to wear it again a couple of days later. Theoretically.

So that? That has never happened at our house in seven and a half years of parenting. Or anyway, it hadn’t.

Sure, now it’s happened three times in the last week. But come on, I think I deserve a little credit here for all those other times when it didn’t. Right? Possibly?

I think so. I am now accepting all offers of applause (because for seven years, I could tell the difference between clean and dirty laundry!) or encouragement (because now, apparently, I cannot). Oh all right, all right, ridicule would be fine, too. Thank you.