I am terrible at email, which you know already if we’ve ever corresponded. I can never figure out when to be done. I either send one email too many, and then fret over whether the other person thinks I came off as stalker-ish, or I walk away without replying and then worry that maybe one more response was really necessary, and the other person is going to think I’m a flake. Or rude. Or a rude flake.

But lately I’ve noticed myself pursuing a third option. I walk away from an email that doesn’t really ask me for anything, and then the not-replying gnaws at me. Gnaws and gnaws and fills me with guilt until I go back and reply to the email, what, three days later? Which is probably the worst of all possible options; now, not only do you think I’m a rude flake, but a rude flake who pops up in your inbox unexpectedly and for no good reason. Awesome.

But it relieves my angst, which is kind of nice.

Maybe I should just email everyone I know right now just to point out that I am a dork. Or I could attach a little disclaimer to my signature line: Email communication with this individual is likely to involve either more or fewer messages than are technically appropriate. Continue mail at your own risk. I don’t know, maybe that would be an improvement. At least you’d be forewarned.