So we have this case of gallon-size plastic bags. We usually buy the easy-zipper variety so the kids can operate the baggies themselves, but the last time we invested in non-reusable plastic bags, we went with the heavy-duty freezer safe kind instead.

They suck.

To be fair, they’re technically just defective. But every single time we use one, the blue half of the locking deal separates from the bag, leaving one side with the whole lock and the other side with… nothing.

It would be like having a whole zipper attached to the left half of your sweater. Interesting, maybe; unexpected, certainly. But capable of zipping to the right half of your sweater? Not so much. Which I suppose wouldn’t be such a big deal except that THAT’S THE WHOLE POINT OF HAVING A ZIPPER. Or in this case, a zip-top bag.

And even the utter lack of functionality wouldn’t be QUITE so annoying if not for the slogan mocking me from the box top every time I go to use a bag: Designed with you in mind!

What kind of insult IS that, exactly? Are they comparing me to a defective plastic baggie, or did they just decide to make them useless because of me? Either way: thanks, plastic bag company!

It may be time to invest in a more eco-friendly storage solution.