For some unknown and perfectly horrible reason, Audrey has given up sleep for Lent. Except, of course, that it ISN’T Lent, and we don’t even belong to a Lent-observing denomination. So I suppose she’s just given up sleep for summer.

I sort of have a problem with this. Mostly I have a problem with ME having to give up sleep for summer because she’s awake and ready to face the day (albeit crankily) at o’dark thirty every morning.

I suppose we have now come to the appropriate place to insert a quip about this being good preparation for new-baby sleep deprivation (it’s like new-baby boot camp! so cute!), but I’m not going to do it. Because first of all, you already thought it, so what would be the fun in me saying it? And secondly, not sleeping is NOT the way I’d like to prepare for a new baby.

It’s like preparing to go on Survivor. Now, YOU might want to prepare by getting into shape. You can be the Hot Chick. But I’m thinking I’ll have better luck as the Fat Guy Who Starves off a Bunch of Weight and Still Never Looks Gaunt. Same logic applies: if you’re going to have a new baby, don’t practice sleeplessness. Stock up on eight-hour nights.

So. If someone could just explain this to Audrey, I’d appreciate it. My Survivor analogy doesn’t seem to be getting through.