I think I mentioned that we were having our carpet cleaned, yes? Yes. And clean it is. Clean and wet. Do you know that you shouldn’t really walk on wet carpet? Of course you do. Wet carpet becomes dirt-infested way faster than dry carpet does, and you just got the carpet clean again, for [something]’s sake.

So. Due to the interesting if not especially accessible layout of our house and to the fact that we spent the day not walking on the carpet, we did not have access to: our backyard. One of our bathrooms. And a storage closet. In addition to the carpeted room, of course.

None of which sounds like a big deal. And I was so, so clever—I took everything I thought we might need out of there ahead of time! Yes. Well. It did not take long to become apparent that, with everyone in the house using the one remaining bathroom, I had not grabbed enough extra toilet paper from the storage closet. (“Enough” being “any.”)

I also didn’t think of moving nail clippers or band-aids, neither of which would be required by a normal person in a typical day. I, as it turns out, am neither normal nor typical, but I am now missing half a toenail on my right foot. No idea how THAT happened, but there was a lot of blood involved, and a wee bit of hopping over the wet carpet to procure a band-aid. And then the nail clippers. And then the toilet paper, because how could it NOT be needed RIGHT THEN?

But my carpet is clean, and not, I think, blood-spattered. And it may even be dry by tomorrow.