Me: The kids need fresh sheets for bed tonight. Why don’t you take Owen and Audrey and change the sheets…

Dane: You know, Audrey’s not especially helpful. How about I take Owen and you keep Audrey?

Me: But if you take them both, I can sit here and eat a Cadbury egg while you’re gone.

Dane: [Blink. Blink blink.]

Me: [Smile. Smile smile.]

Dane: [Sigh. Grin.] Come on, kids, let’s get new bedsheets! To the linen cupboard!