![]() | on my mind, or not |
Everyone is healthy again. Fevers are gone. But the chaos has officially infiltrated my brain.
I suddenly feel like there’s no room in my head to think, much less to write anything down. The other night Dane asked why I didn’t write about my lack of mental space. “I’ve been trying!” I wailed back. So you know things are going well.
I have an essay I want to write, and another one that I want to rewrite with a new focus, a couple of other random things not quite as pressing. But even when the kids aren’t physically on my body or asking for something, I stare blankly at the screen… and then three minutes later someone IS climbing into my lap or asking for something and I give up again.
So I decided maybe we needed more structure. I printed out a new schedule, with things like Quiet Time! Which we technically have every day, though lately it’s been more like Sit On Your Bed And Ask Mom For Something Every Two Minutes While Audrey Naps Time. I like it better when it’s Quiet! For reading and writing! (Also the kids do have better afternoons if they rest a while after lunch. It’s not ALL about me. Though some of it is.)
The kids checked the schedule every hour or so today to make sure we were on track (let the schedule be the boss… I swear that’s part of some parenting philosophy). Turns out I under-scheduled; we ran out of activities slightly before we ran out of time. Tomorrow I’ll have backups.
And if that doesn’t work, I can just leave my brain to fester for the next dozen years. I can always start thinking again when they’re all grown! When there’s no more chaos! Unless I’ve forgotten how by then! Woo-hoo.








There has to be a paradox in there somewhere. Something about having the capacity to think about one’s head being too full to think, so then is the head actually too full? And when it falls off in the forest, does it make a sound?
I love Quiet Time. I’ve never put it on a schedule because I do everything in my power to stretch it out just a little longer. My kids seem to understand the drill by now, but my husband is still resistant.
It’s been a recent development arund here that I can actually think and concentrate when I’m not physically alone. Up until now, it’s been impossible. And hey! It’s only taken, what? 7 years?