Hey, guess what? The kids got new closet doors today. Exciting, right? Well, it is to us. Our contractor called this morning to tell us the doors were in, and to see if he could stop by with his crew to install them. Our contractor happens to be my stepfather. And the crew? Also known as my brother. Hooray! Come on over, guys!

I’m pretty sure we’re his favorite clients, by the way. Oh, you’re here to install the closet doors? Awesome. Do you also want to touch-up paint? Cool! Could you find the paint first? It’s in the loft above the garage. I think. Hey, and while you’re here, will you take a look at my dryer? It started making a horrible noise and stopped drying things yesterday. Also, it seems to be leaking grease onto the clothes. That sounds like a quick fix, right?

And can the kids follow you around while you do all that? And measure themselves with your measuring tape? And hold up your level to see if it’s bigger than they are? (It is.) They’ll probably ask you eighty bazillion questions about what you’re doing—but that’ll help keep you focused, right? So they’re helping!

And! Just to make it more fun to work here? If you can’t fix the dryer? Don’t worry about it! I’ll just bring my wet clothes over to YOUR house to dry! I have your home phone number. I will call you.

His favorite clients, I tell you. Favorite clients who don’t pay. And never, ever go away.