How the haircut postgame show could have gone if I’d come home crankier.

DANE: Your hair looks great!

ME: It’s full of product.

DANE: It looks great.

ME: It won’t look like this tomorrow.

DANE: Well, it looks great today!

ME: Are you saying you think I need product?

DANE: No, it’s just—

ME: Are you trying to tell me you don’t like my hair?

DANE: No—What? No!

I swear it did not go down like that. But I totally need to go back to the salon and buy whatever it was that the stylist put on my scalp. Because while I am sort of freakily anti-chemical, the magic gel-ish stuff made my hair all smooth and not fluffy or frizzy and now I need it.