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 | please like me anyhow |
We had a playdate today! Okay, no, it was Friday. I just haven’t had one minute to SIT DOWN AND WRITE since then. Also? If I haven’t returned your email? I am not ignoring you. I love you! I’m just really darned slow this week. So sorry!
Anyhow! Back to your regularly scheduled blog post. An acquaintance came to visit us on Friday with her teeny-tiny three-week-old baby. (Abigail’s comment, pointing at the baby’s ankles: “Look how skinny she starts out!”) We haven’t been out of the house much lately, so this is exciting stuff, people.
When my new-mommy friend called to say she was on her way, I said something like, “Well, the house is a wreck, my clothes don’t match, and I have yet to put on makeup today, but as long as you don’t mind THOSE things, come on over!”
I almost added “The baby’s asleep, and hey, everyone’s dressed!” But I didn’t. Because you should never say that stuff out loud. Ever. Don’t even form the thought if you can help it.
But I did form the thought. And because he can hear my thoughts and feels the need to refute them, Owen decided to run down the hallway imitating a howler monkey, which (shock!) woke Audrey.
I scooped her up and glanced in Owen’s general direction, but Howler Monkey—having accomplished his baby-waking objective—seemed to have been replaced by Quiet Boy Merrily Flying a Toy Boat Over His Head, so I decided to let him be while I gathered Audrey’s diapering supplies. (Mistake Number Two!) It took me a few more minutes before I realized—hey! I hear something! Sounds like running water! What’s up with that?
I had just enough time to hear Owen holler, “Hey! I’m WET!” and NOT in the I’m-so-happy-to-be-wet! way before the doorbell rang. (The bathroom ceiling, mirrors, sink, cabinetry, and floor also were not happy to be wet. But such is life when you are a bathroom fixture in the home of a three-year-old boy.)
And so it was that I answered the door with a still-wet-diapered Audrey in my arms, Owen peeling wet clothes off in the hallway behind me, with water clearly dripping down the wall of my guest bathroom. Welcome! Please come in and let Abigail entertain you with stories of Our Poisonous Pet Snake and How My Brother Wakes Me Up By Yelling, while I encourage Owen to dress himself as I mop the bathroom ceiling. I hope you’re not attached to any snacks you might have packed in your diaper bag! Can I get you anything?
It’s a wonder anyone ever hangs out with me at all.
Oh my gosh, that is so funny. My daughter used to pull similar stuff like that on me when I would proudly ask her to recite her ABC’s to a stranger….she would stand there and look at me like, “ABC’s? I don’t know my ABC’s! What are those?”. Then as soon as the person was gone, she would recite them backwards just for kicks! ARRRRGGGH!
Sometime I’ll tell you about the time my mother brought my sister and her husband by the house for a surprise visit when we had all been sick with the FLU! And my sister didn’t have any kids then, so her cleanliness standards were much higher than a sick mom with 3 kids under 6. You can just imagine.
J.
I absolutely CAN imagine, but I’m not sure I want to– sounds too familiar…
I’m at that point in my life that I no longer pray that I will change my ways.
Instead I pray that people who come to visit will be happy to see me…..
and if they see the dust on the piano,
they can blow it off.
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Oh girl I can totally understand!!! This is so funny, and sooo 100% mommy. I too have been there. Now that mine are older, I have to “hisss” stop that fighting before I answer the door, smile and make it look like we are a normal family!!! Of course that comment brings out the “silliness” of my soon to be teenage boys. I think the Lord works on the pride of every parents. There is an unwritten rule, you are a parent therefore you are allowd NO pride.
Great post.
You seriously cracked me up with this post. I remember those days. Now my kids are much older, but I remember feeling pretty isolated when they were younger. Even I didn’t want to hang out with me sometimes!