DANE: (peeling off shirt)
ME: Oh, were you going to get in the shower now?
HIM: I was. Why?
ME: Well… the baby just pooped on me, so I need to shower, too. But I can wait.
HIM: No, no, you go ahead.
ME: No, really. You’ve been awake longer. You’re probably more ready to get in.
HIM: Yet YOU are covered in more bacteria! (shoving me in the bathroom and closing the door behind me) Please! TAKE THE FIRST SHOWER!
ME: Well, if you think so…

Shower postponement. The mark of a true gentleman.

I choose to believe he was motivated by genuine concern for my discomfort, rather than a general aversion to all things poop-related.

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