Dane brought home a watermelon the size of a small pony this weekend. Because what’s more fun than two kids and a baby? Two kids, a table, and a kitchen floor all coated in a sticky film of watermelon juice, that’s what. The baby stayed clean and dry. Oddly.

I have half a watermelon left in the fridge, but as the thing is still bigger than three-year-old Owen, I’m a little wary of taking a butcher knife to it. And Dane’s at work. I might remember to have him chop it all up when he gets home, but then again, I might not.

Twice we had Watermelon-Eating Time over the weekend. And twice we discovered Owen washing out his clothes in the bathroom sink after eating the melon. The second time, Dane walked in to find water sloshed from the sink up to the mirror and across the floor to the opposite wall, and felt this was a life-lesson sort of moment.

“Owen,” he said, “look at this water on the floor.”

I could hear the smile on Owen’s face. “It was just an ax-dee-dent, Daddy,” he explained in a we-can-fix-it kind of voice.

“Right. I see that,” Dane agreed, “But if we don’t wash our clothes in the bathroom sink, we won’t make this mess.”

Owen, still chipper: “Ax-dee-dents happen, Dad.” (Can you guess what I say eighty times a day?)

“Well, yes, they do, but we could prevent the accident if we—”

“We can fix it!” Owen proclaimed, grabbing a hand towel, which would have been slightly more helpful if it wasn’t already sopping.

“Yes, let’s fix it. And next time—”

“It was just an ax-dee-dent, Daddy. Ax-dee-dents happen. No big deal.”

We’ve had quite a number of ax-dee-dents around here lately. Like yesterday, when Abigail came running to show me the blood dripping down her chin.

“What happened?” I asked.

“Accidentally I bit Owen’s shirt,” she began. You what?

“Okay…”

“And then he ran away and I forgot to let go with my teeth and now my loose tooth is WAY looser and it’s BLEEEEEEEDING!”

“I can see that…” I said feebly. That was followed, after washing the blood away, with a little discussion about… not eating other people’s belongings? Not biting your brother’s shirt? Keeping your teeth to yourself? That last one seems most like a rule, I guess. It can be hard to determine how specific to be during these spontaneously-occurring Teachable Moments.

So, by way of public service announcement: next time your kid accidentally bites an inanimate object until her gums bleed, clean her up and gently remind her that We Keep Our Teeth To Ourselves. I have no rule for the water all over the bathroom thing. Sorry.